Why Belonging Starts with You
Imagine feeling completely at home—not in a physical space, but in yourself. Imagine walking into any room with a quiet, unshakable confidence, knowing you belong simply because you are you. There’s a magic in belonging to yourself that changes everything: your relationships, your choices, your life. But here’s the secret—it doesn’t start with anyone else. It starts with you.
From Fitting In to Belonging to Yourself
Most of my life, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I tried so hard to fit in—to be liked, to be accepted, to mould myself into whatever version of “me” I thought others wanted. And let me tell you, it’s exhausting.
I was a master people-pleaser. I adjusted myself to fit into spaces where I didn’t really belong, with people who didn’t truly see me. For the longest time, I thought those were the only spaces available to me. I believed that belonging meant changing myself, shrinking myself, until I fit.
But fitting in is not the same as belonging.
A couple of years ago, I made a radical choice: I stopped trying to fit in. I cut ties with relationships that drained me. I reclaimed my energy and moved away from the city to a small village, where I could breathe again. I stepped into my tiny circle—my husband, my sister, and my closest friend—and focused on being truly myself with them.
It wasn’t easy. I’d spent years avoiding vulnerability, even with the people I loved most. But as I began to open up, something incredible happened. By letting them see the real me—the messy, imperfect, weird me—I began to feel seen. And that changed everything.
Unlearning What Keeps You Disconnected
The truth is, I had to unlearn a lifetime of patterns before I could begin to belong to myself.
I’d learned to avoid vulnerability, to put up walls instead of setting boundaries. I’d learned to please others at the expense of my own needs. These patterns kept me lonely, even when I was surrounded by people.
What helped me break free?
I looked at the stories I’d been carrying—stories of generational trauma, childhood conditioning, and societal expectations. I questioned them. Slowly, I started peeling back the layers of who I thought I had to be and rediscovered who I actually was.
And that was the key: belonging doesn’t start with finding the right people or spaces. It starts with you.
What It Feels Like to Belong to Yourself
Belonging to myself feels like coming home. It feels like deep self-trust, like I’m giving myself permission to exist exactly as I am. Even on the days I feel worthless or angry or small, I know I belong—to myself, to my life, to this world.
When you belong to yourself, it’s like the universe whispers, “You’re allowed to be here. You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to be you.”
And that changes everything. It’s like having a secret superpower that lets you experience life from your own perspective, instead of living for everyone else.
Steps to Reclaim Your Energy and Worth
Belonging to yourself is a practice, one that takes time and patience. If you’re ready to take the first steps, here’s what helped me:
- Set Boundaries
Start small. Protect your time, your energy, your space. This might mean saying no to a request or taking a moment for yourself before answering a message. Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about creating space for you. - Practice Worthiness
Feeling worthy can be hard, especially if it’s not something you’re used to. Start by opening up to the people you trust most—just a little, at first. Let them see the real you. You might be surprised by how they respond.Use affirmations or tapping scripts that feel specific to you. For example: “Even though I feel weird and awkward after that conversation, I know I am worthy. I choose to believe I belong.” It’s not about perfection; it’s about showing up for yourself, even on the hard days. - Spend Time with Yourself
Spend time with yourself—not just to unwind, but to truly connect. What makes you laugh until your cheeks hurt? What do you crave, just for you? If you’re looking for a way to start, try this grounding ritual I created: The Foundation of Your Magic: A Grounding Ritual to Begin Your Journey. It’s a gentle, magical practice to connect with yourself and your energy.
If you feel inspired, share your discoveries on Instagram and tag me @feelgoodrebelacademy so I can cheer you on!
The Magic of Belonging Starts Within
When you belong to yourself, something shifts. You stop chasing validation and start creating a life that feels like home. From that place of self-belonging, you’ll find your people—your tribe.
Maybe that tribe starts here.
What’s one way you can take a small step toward belonging to yourself today? I’d love to hear in the comments.
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